First of all, you can smell the marketing rat in the title. Ms. Argov takes huge, massive liberties with the word "bitch." In fact, half the time her examples of bitches in action are creatures 180 degrees out from what most of us would call a "bitch." "Have an appetite for life.". That's bitchy? "If a man gives you something, show him the respect he deserves by thanking him for the kindness."  That's being a bitch?  Argov disguises the very old "ladies, act helpless" advice as, "When you act too much like Tarzan, he feels too much like Jane. Don’t even kill a bug when he's around. Don't change a tire. In fact, don't even change a light bulb. (Heaven forbid, sister.)." And doesn't this sound familiar (stroke, stroke): "Men need a little coaching and the way to coach them is to praise them when they behave well. A man's favorite word? 'Best.' It doesn't matter if you say, 'Honey, you eat those beer nuts the best...' Use the word 'best' and you'll always have his full attention."

Well if this doesn't sound like Ladies' Home Journal conniving, (the old "ten ways to keep your husband from straying"), I don't know what does. I might go so far as to say that Argov's advice is as conniving as that most die-hard of pretenses, "fake your orgasm": "Men love to feel that they are 'in charge,'" Argov tells us, "and that their opinion really counts. (At the very least, pretend)." Yes, Argov's ideal woman often sounds like a consummate actress and plotter, but I'm not sure faking and scheming actually makes someone a "bitch." Maybe pretending to speak for the "bitch" is Argov's device for getting away with talking like one herself. Though she often says speak to your man in his own language, be financially independent, and other things men would love to tell their women, she doesn't always say it in the nicest fashion. At one point she compares men to parrots in training. Elsewhere, to children and pets. Or worse: "Sometimes as a lover you will have to set forth terms that are also in the best interest of the 'diapered one.' Why? He is a man. And there will forever be a three-year-old trapped inside him." Shew! -- now that's cold.

And here's really the basis for the Argovian bitch. When you fall in love, don't rearrange your life or your personality for the new lover. Don't give up your golf or tennis mornings, don't give up your sleep, and don't even give up your lazy down-time. And when you have a problem, don't propose to sit down and "process" everything by talking. Based on her interviews, Argov contends that men tune out everything after the first two sentences (now my friend is a talker, so he simply reverses the tables on this advice, too). Argov's solution comes from the maxim "actions speak louder than words," in chapters like "Dumb Like a Fox" and "Nagging no More" (yes, she really does have a chapter on how not to become a nag -- maybe guys will find this a good birthday gift for their lovers after all). The book is full of suggestions, little stories about how women got their men to notice by taking the right actions. And no, the actions aren't your usual Good Housekeeping tips, like jump into your Frederick's of Hollywood nightie, pronto. But a lot of the prescriptions were really contrived or conniving, like, you should only see him 2/3 of the times he wants to see you . Yes we're all going to sit down with our yes/no columns and our division tables when he asks us out on a date. Argov seems to be a true believer in "absense makes the heart grow fonder."  For all its faults, this book can be VERY funny, especially where Argov classifies the different types of naggers: The Marathon Nagger, The Sprint Nagger, The Momentum Whiner, The Sunrise Whiner, The Nightcap Nagger, The Bushwhacker, The Sniper (I am none of these, although the Bushwhacker would make a killer Halloween costume).

This book was orginally given to me by a very concerned friend, who, in all honesty, just wants to see me receive what I give in return.  And although the book did give some good points (I do agree that on some level, as much as we might dislike the notion, dating involves some sort of game), I found that most of this book didn't apply to me, or didn't tell me anything that I haven't already heard.  One of the most important Attraction Principals in the book is Attraction Principal #44 “Most women are starving to receive something from a man that they need to give themselves.” Argov points out “The nice girl thinks she’s giving up something to get something better in return. She gives up control over her own life. When the time comes for her to get what she had expected, she winds up disappointed. In addition to being empty-handed, she’s depleted.”  I am a nice girl, but I have certainly never given up control of my own life.  Also, I think that the notion of “showing a man how much you care” being the the very behavior that leads a man to feel the woman isn’t really interesting enough to pursue, is pure, unadulterated CRAP.  There's a difference between trying too hard to impress a man, trying too hard to win him over; or trying too hard to be sexy, and just being yourself.  First off, and most importantly, I don't need to try to be sexy....lol.  And I don't need to try hard to make an impression.  By changing who I am, who I've always been, and not doing things that I enjoy doing, am I not feeding into the very notion that this book tries to discourage against?  Changing yourself to accomodate what a man wants.  There's a difference between being nice and being naive and having low self-worth.  Someone who is naive isn't a good enough judge of character (their own, and another's) to know when enough is enough.